Practicum Days: Day 11

Maybe I'm a bit un-well today...
Maybe I'm being too emotional..
But I still can't process the fact that I feel hopeless at the moment..
I feel as if I can't do anything to help my students..
I'm starting to doubt my ability..
I'm starting to question my self...

The blank faces..
The uneasy stare..
The confusions and coldness...

Will I ever touch their hearts?
Will they ever learn something from me?
will they even remember all the hard work I put into everything..?
Do they know how much I want them to succeed in life>?

Sometimes,
I think I could just ignore them..
But part of me cared for them.. perhaps too much..
I never cared about anyone as much as I cared for them before.
Maybe that's what making me so weak. so fragile... that I could break down and cry..

Am I regretting my decision?
No, I don't....

Do I hate my life?
No, I don't....

Funny isn't it?
How I still love my students even when they made me cry...





3 comments:

t a u f i k said...

really enjoy reading your teaching experience. I'm sure you will be a good teacher. I pray for that. Never give up. :D

syam said...

felt as if no matter how much hard work we poured on it, they jz couldn't feel the sincerity. perhaps one day they will realize it..hopefully within the three months.

v said...

don't give up :) this upset feeling will pass by. trust me.